Let me get one thing straight for you. A
lot of people in this world will not understand you and only a handful will
take their time to do it. So, don’t stress out.
One thing that I’ve noticed about myself
and some people around me over the course of these past few years is that we
tend to make ourselves the victims of other people’s words. We tend to take everything
as a personal attack on our belief and opinion, and sometimes we think people purposefully
try hurt us because they don’t understand how we work therefore they don’t respect
us as a person.
And that’s fucked up.
What responsibility do these people carry
that they need to understand you so deeply? What mysterious being are you that everybody
needs to read an encyclopedia explaining how people should handle you? Honey, why so
narcissistic?
I know, I know, that’s a mean way to put
it. But think about it for a minute. You’re just a human like everybody else and
it’s impossible for you to know how to act and what to say to people, even when
you’ve known them for quite some time. Sometimes you slip up, you screw up and
you make mistakes, just like the next person. So, why should you expect from
people more than what you, yourself, can give them? That’s unfair.
“But
I’m a good person. I’m thoughtful and cautious of what I say.”
No, you’re not. A good person doesn’t
expect to get the same treatment as they give, let alone more. If you are
thoughtful enough, think about other people’s capability of understanding
others, their emotional quotient (EQ). And if you are cautious enough, bite
your tongue and clear your mind from that assumption that they are purposefully
trying to hurt you. It’s just that they don’t know and they don’t understand.
Surely that shouldn’t be an excuse for
people to not mind their words but the thing is, not everybody has common sense
and not everybody is nice. Deal with it. But if you really can’t stand them or
they go over the line, educate them. And if they still piss you off, just walk away.
It’s as simple as that.
When I first understood that not everybody
understands me and that very few people will, it puts me in a different
mindset. I had an epiphany. It makes me less angry about people criticizing on
what I do or how I act because I know that they don’t understand the reason
behind it. I don’t get offended when people misinterpret what I say, because I know
that they don’t understand the underlying meanings that were carved by my past.
There is a lot of things that I choose not to say about myself, so when people
misread me as something else, I don’t find it insulting because I know that they
don’t understanding me all that well. And they really don’t have to unless I choose
them to.
People understand the world and others very
differently and learn about them at a more different rate. Everybody is not the
same and surely not everybody has the same mentality as you do. The faster you
swallow that bitter pill, the faster you’ll heal from the pain you’ve inflicted
upon yourselves, that you claim those people did. Why be the victim when you
can rise above others and be the bigger person? Walk away from silly arguments,
know that sometimes you just can’t get it through their head. Remember, it’s
not their job to gulp whatever you’re shoving down their throat. They will
understand at their own terms.
And it’s very rare in your life that you
find people who understand you right off the bat. Keep those rare gems near.
Unless they run away and don’t get online for months. *cough* I’m talking about you, H *cough*
Anyways, just keep in mind that everybody
sees the world differently. Don’t try to paint theirs with your own colours,
you don’t have that right. All you can do is help them understand you and you’re
gonna have understand them in return. A relationship, be it with families,
friends or strangers, is always a two-way street. Respect each other and communicate,
it’s not that complicated.
-Nik.
Nik Fateen. An introvert trying to find home in a foreign space.